1000 Gifts: Whispers and Promises

     Sometimes we hold on to those things which are tangible... mementos, valuables, and the necessities of life. They are considered precious because of the memories they conjure, the comfort, convenience, provision, and enrichment they bring to life. And sometimes the things we cling to are not tangible but they bring that "zoe" kind of life in living and the promise of that which is yet to come. 
     I hold on to words... Since I can remember, I have loved them. I'm not sure how to describe it but there are some words that have been the sustenance I needed when I didn't think I could make it. The treasure they hold for me is more than "definition"---it's the difference they have made in my journey. Their impact and value can't be taken away, or destroyed, or "undone." These words are uniquely mine in the way they have woven themselves among the threads of my life just as they may also be uniquely yours.
      In the past, I couldn't trust anyone with the secrets I held for so long so the secrets took hold of me rather than me taking hold of them. The solution could have been as simple as sharing them with one person...or one Savior. But I couldn't put my heart into words and I couldn't ask for help--not even from One who gave Himself up for my sake. Maybe I didn't think my words--my heart--mattered so much back then. In desperation, I searched for meaning in my struggle looking for a reason to press on.  As remembered unlovely spoken words created chaos within, I couldn't speak out or plead for help, or pray, or even journal my thoughts. I realize now there were a few who saw me--the me I tried so hard to hide. A few who reached out to me even though I turned them away. A few faithful who prayed for me even when I couldn't pray for myself. I couldn't see it or understand it then, but for those who never gave up, I am ever grateful because your words made all the difference as I searched for my own.
     Word study became a practice of survival in those dark and silent times. When I had none of my own and life was ebbing away, I would cling to words that spoke life and promise to me--words, I believe, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, each with its own merit. Then, I had nothing else to hold on to and His Word seemed to be all that I could grasp. So before computers or technology, I clung to those heartwhispers as I pored through chapter after chapter, book after book, in my Bible looking for Scripture that included those whispered words...I would write them down--all of them--pages upon pages. Writing them down on paper was like writing His word on my heart.  Obsessive maybe--desperate, no doubt--but the busyness of the task steadied my hand as His Word steadied my heart, carrying me through unbearable days. Those who have never struggled through deep depression may not understand it.  Even today, those very words--His words--still speak life and promise to me. They remain beacons when waves roll high and my way is dark. I have no doubt that when I couldn't grasp the vastness of His love, His Spirit whispered these words, knowing my unspoken need and confident that I would cling to life through them as He prayed in my stead. Romans 8 tells us how the He intercedes for us with groans that words can't express. I found truth and beauty in that assurance as Romans 8:25-29 became alive and real to me...

...If we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

For these whispered words--His spoken gifts in my most desperate times, I am eternally grateful. I've included only one of the hundreds of the promises He showed me with each word...


61.  HOPE - Lamentations 3:19-24  Because He is faithful and His mercy is new each day.
62.  GRACE - 2 Corinthians 12:9  His grace is sufficient.
63.  PERSEVERENCE - Hebrews 12:1-3  The key is to keep running HIS race, not my own.
64.  WHOLEHEARTED - 1 Chronicles 28:9-10  Wholehearted devotion and willing mind--HIS.
65.  REFUGE - Psalm 25  I give Him my trust and my shame as I seek refuge in Him.
66.  PERFECT - 1 John 4:18  Perfect love drives out fear.
67.  STAND - Ephesians 4:13  After you've done everything, stand.
68.  WAIT - Psalm 37:6-7  Be still and wait; His justice prevails.
69.  JUSTICE - Isaiah 1:17-18  Seek it...Receive it...Stand for it...
70.  FEAR NOT - Isaiah 43:1-3  He is with me through thick and thin.
71.  TEACH ME - Psalm 86:11  His way, His truth, His heart.
72.  UNDIVIDED - Ezekiel 11:19-20  HE gives me an undivided heart and bitterness is softened by grace.
73.  SEEK - Jeremiah 29:11-14  He will be found when I seek Him.
74.  KNOWN - 1 Corinthians 13:11-13  I may not know the way He leads but I am known completely.
75.  TOGETHER - Colossians 1:17  He holds ME together.
76.  PRESENCE - Psalm 16:11  Joy in His presence
77.  BELIEVE - Mark 9:17-24  Help my unbelief, Lord.
78.  NOT ASHAMED - 2 Timothy 2:12  I know whom I have believed...
79.  EVERLASTING - Jeremiah 31:3  His love knows no beginning or end.
80.  LIFE - Deuteronomy 3018-20  The Lord IS my life.


These few are but a small portion of His love notes and promises to me...and you.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For Your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  - Romans 8:35-39

1000 Gifts: Simple Things

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:7

Sometimes we make life so difficult...as if there has to be a specific reason for every emotion, every task. Too often, we don't take time to sit back and just breathe in life and accept it...appreciate it for what it is. But when I do, I find the most peaceful contentment in simple things...For these I am thankful....

37. A cool morning breeze coming through the bedroom window.

38.  The smell of rain.

39. The yellow of dandelions...so fresh.

40. A random text from my son, miles away from home, “Love ya, Mom.” It’s on my “do not delete” list.

41. The sound of little league games nearby and remembering years when my boys were those boys...I miss it sometimes.

42. Birds at dawn before anyone else in the neighborhood is stirring.

43. Anticipation that another Sunday is coming.

44. HOPE

45. Oscillating fans.

46. Hasting's raspberry white chocolate frappes & laughter with friends

47. Tiredness when a big task is completed...satisfaction.

48. Freshly mown grass.

49. Butterflies on the screen door.

50. Fireflies...so few but their twinkles take my breath away...still.

51. An unexpected hug from Daisia.

52. Expectancy in the air…so many precious friends expecting little ones. The planning, the preparations, the excitement, and “glow” –not just expectant moms but dads too.

53. A new face--a new life rising out of baptismal waters. She smiles--it's very real.

54. A new sister in Christ calling just to ask why we have different Bible translations... “Can I write in it?” She makes my faith fresh in remembering....so sincere and eager to know God.

55. A homeless man, beaten and robbed...weeks in the hospital but he doesn't give up. He smiles, laughs, so much love to give away yet some think he has nothing...He has more than many of us.  He renews my strength. I'm there to encourage him, yet he encourages me.

56. The washing of feet in remembering His words, “Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to Me.”  How precious this is….receiving grace.

57. A prodigal friend's voice--lost but now found again..."I wanna come home." Relief that she is safe.

58. Tears....long time coming as bitterness begins to dissolve. A heart of stone becoming flesh again. (Ezekiel 11:19)

59. Strength that comes only in relying on Christ…

60. Simple prayer answered, "I need You." And He is here...

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." – Philippians 4:12-13

1000 Gifts: In Honor

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:12-13 NIV


Today is Memorial Day--a day to remember those who have given their lives or freedom. And for many of us a day also o remember those who have greatly impacted our lives but have gone before us. I am humbled and blessed by their giving. And I am so very grateful...


15.  For Jesus Christ who so willingly and lovingly gave His life so that I might be free...so  that I might share eternity with Him.
16.  For the many men ad women who have fought so valiantly for freedom--in past and present wars.
17.  For the men and women who sacrificed their lives for that same freedom, paying the ultimate price  so we can live and worship and work as we desire.
18.  For the military men and women who come home, wounded or well. They go on but their lives are inevitably changed by their experience.
19.  For three sons who have sworn their own lives to duty, honor, and country whatever the cost. They are my own personal heroes. Semper fi...
20.  For Marine training. I can trust that my sons have been trained to be the best...to protect, to serve, and to survive.  I've seen all three sons graduate from basic training, witnessing the intensity of their instruction and purpose. To see each one in their time stat at attention in full uniform as he received his Marine pin...Words can't describe it adequately. A mother's heart lodges in her throat as her boys becomes men because of the Marines.
21. That when I can't do anything else while my sons are deployed or when all of my children are making their own way wherever they are, I can still pray. How could I get through the worry if I couldn't place them in the hands of God each day? Knowing that He holds them gives me peace.
22. When my Marines come home from overseas. Seeing them get off that plane or the bus is an experience I can't explain, but if you are a mom, a wife, or a loved one left behind, you understand.
23. For God's protection through minefields, IED explosions, and dangers I don't even know about. I just pray that God will meet my sons where they are when they need Him most. I remember the call...Mikey and his men were crossing a bridge and an IED exploded..."He was hurt but he's ok." He chose to stay with his men. Overwhelmed by his courage and willingness to endure, with tears of relief, fear, and then thanksgiving that he survived streaming down, and still a mom's desperate need to see him or hear his voice so I can know he was really ok--not just his body but also his heart. Outwardly the scars are a simple reminder but no doubt he will never forget that fateful moment...Nor will I.
24. For the son and daughter who chose a different path--making their mark on their corner of the world in a different way. Their life purpose and impact is no less that my military sons. They are no less as patriots and my heart swells. I am so thankful that God designed each child uniquely and has given each one their own "assignment."
25. For the men and women who served and protect right here among us--on American soil. Policement, firemen, medical and emergency personnel... All those who put their lives on the live to keep us safe.
26. For Joe and Delores Burger. Joe served as a helicopter pilot in Vietnam and died in a helicopter crash. When my own dad was in Vietnam and he was stateside, he came by regularly to check on us. He loved my mom's fruitcake and coffee, he played with us, and took care of little things that needed to be done around the house. They brought a lot of laughter and love to our house. I didn't understand ti so much then but they enriched our lives, understanding what my mom needed the most during my dad's absence. I especially remember their presence in a thunderstorm. I crawled in Delores' lap and he made me laugh taking away my fear. He was a good man and taken oo soon. He served and protected in Vietnam but also at home. I am blessed and honored to have known him.
27. For Memorial Stones and a pastor who speaks truth. As we honor those who have died, he reminded us that life is for living. That we are to make our lives monuments--testimonies to His life-changing grace in such a way that our life may be a memorial stone of faith for those who come behind us--a memorial stone that points to Christ.
28. For Life Change Sunday--a Sunday meant for Life not death. We witnessed 12 lives that have inevitably and eternally been changed by grace. Even as we honor those who have died, we can commit and celebrate life and legacy to that those who have gone before us have not died in vain.
29. For the living legacy of Albert Cadena seen through his family. No, he wasn't a soldier in a distant land but a life that was changed by grace and taken from us too soon. Sunday, we saw his legacy live on in his mother and sister as they followed him in faith through baptism. His life is a memorial stone to those left behind--as each one who 
remain strive for justice, seeking to stop the violence and start the love.
30. For justice. This year we have witnessed justice first-hand in the courtroom and we've seen healing truly begin. We continually pray for justice to become a way of life so that the men and women who have died or suffered in war in distant lands or war in our city streets. They will not be forgotten and their legacies meant for the good of men will live on.
31. For those whose lives have deeply touched mine in their living and dying. My my own life be lived as a legacy to whose who have made such a difference in me.
32. For Leisa, who came into my life a just the right time. I learned a lot about living as she fought cancer. Even in dying, she didn't let go of her dreams and I have been honored to see some of those dreams come to pass.
33. For Arnett, my father-in-law, who loved me not matter what. Throughout his life, he endured struggles most of us can't imagine but even in dying, he said, "Be happy in Jesus" and lived it every moment. We should all live that legacy.
34. For Lenora--sweet lovable Lenora who showed me a lot about joy--real joy. She never let life get her down. Even in tough circumstances, her smile and zest for life proved hat joy comes from within--the Christ within us. She had no reason to love me but she did, never failing to remind me every week as we sat side by side.
35. For Bill Pope, who was a rock in the building of my faith. He never wavered in faith or even in the depths of loss. He was staunch in what he believed and didn't back down, yet he had the courage to admit when he was wrong. Sometimes a can still almost hear his strong voice booming those old hymns, "The Comforter has come... Take Time to Be Holy... Just as I am withou one plea...
36. For Albert Lovell, a man who truly overwhelmed me with grace I had never known. I'm not sure I understood it until he became grace to me and restored me with his patience, his love, and his willingness to stand up for me.

Lord, thank You for those whose lived have been lived for You. . .For those who were

willing to give so freely of themselves so that others might live a fuller and blessed life.

WE WERE BOUGHT WITH A KISS...

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. - 1 John 3:16


"We were bought with a kiss..."  The words of the song invaded my thoughts. I've probably listened to that David Crowder song a hundred times before but today was the first time I "heard" that one line--like it yelled at me and captured my full attention. In grasping the truth of that one line, the whole song became new to me as it blew away some of my own stinkin' thinkin'!


     And the problem is this: WE WERE BOUGHT WITH A KISS,
     But the cheek still turned even when it wasn't hit...


Have you ever thought about that? ...How we were bought with a traitor's Kiss? Jesus knew before He ever went to the Garden of Gethsemane--Judas would betray him, setting God's plan into motion. A kiss meant for evil ultimately brought the redemption of man as God worked His will and way in the middle of circumstance. 
    Looking back at my own life, I remember how often I thought He can't forgive me--He couldn't love me...WHY would He love me? I've heard the same time and again from many whose paths have crossed mine so I know I'm not alone in my thinking. Lately, some circumstances have caused those thoughts to resurface more than I really like to admit.
    But as I pondered the phrase "bought with a kiss," I thought back to all of Judas' story and about Jesus' unfailing love for him. Judas' kissed him as he would a friend. Even in that moment, Jesus knew it was an act betrayal not of friendship, yet He still turned his cheek to receive the kiss. He knew He would die a painful death out of love for the very worst of us...even Judas. I don't know if I could have, but I think that maybe in that same moment he received the kidss, Jesus also forgave Judas. Maybe as Judas drew away, he looked in Jesus' eyes. I can only imagine that he was overwhelmed with the shame of his betrayal but Jesus' tender eyes still offered forgiveness. He loved Judas enough to forgive him but Judas wouldn't accept it...In denying forgiveness, he denied Christ's love.
    Crowder was in awe of such a love as he pondered Jesus' response to Judas, "And I don't know what to do with a love like that."  A love that sees past betrayal and sin to the very heart of men and women like us. If I stay in my "unlovable" mindset, I can't really do much with the grace and the overwhelming love I've been given. In HOPE, we talked about life changes a lot recently. We will see evidence of lives that have been changed by His love this Sunday through baptism--Life Change Sunday. Circmstances and teaching "change" has caused me to reflect on my own life changes since I came to Abilene...even in the last few months. I'm not the same person I was before November of 2003. I've been in church my whole life. I've known grace...And I've known and witnessed "ungrace" far too often. I guess, if I'm to be honest, I have to admit I've also been a part of "ungrace" too. 
      I remember the hurt, despair, the loneliness, and the utter worthlessness I felt the first time I walked in  Mission Abilene. I wanted to run away but I was detained. To my surprise, I found acceptance there in the middle of people who had the courage to be broken too--no pretending. I can't say that things have gone the way I expected...I've walked through some of my hardest miles and I've fallen again and again. But I can say that I've known grace like I've never known before in the last few years. Grace has changed me...Why? Because Jesus love ME. A few years ago, I could say the words but I was empty inside yet I still tried vainly to earn the grace I had been given. Today, I can say the words and I'm overwhelmed because of the vastness of His love...At a little place called Mission Abilene, filled with imperfect and broken people, I've discovered a secret. He loves ME--the best and the very worst of me. His love isn't measured by how well I love Him back and His grace isn't measured by how much i deserve it. When I think about that kiss--I know that I know Jesus loved Judas with all His heart. Judas should have known...shouldn't he? He had been with Jesus up close for three years! He should have known what to do with a love like that. But he couldn't look beyond his own remorse to embrace Jesus' love. He took his own life. In denying grace, he threw away Jesus's love. He wasted it...
     Peter betrayed Jesus too--denying him three times when Jesus needed him most. Jesus looked at him across the courtyard as the rooster crowed. As Peter met His gaze, no doubt he knew the shame of his denial, but I think he must have seen a love that was so much greater in Christ's eyes. Though he was filled with shame and remorse for the moment, he knew that he couldn't turn away from the kind of love that looks beyond betrayal and sin. He probably wondered what to do with a love like that...till Jesus said, "Feed My sheep." And Peter did. Jesus' love changed him and because he let the love he had been given flow out of him, Peter changed the world... 
     By nature, I often turn away or resist the Savior's grace...when I fail Him so deeply and I can't imagine that anyone could love me as I am. In those times, I want to be reminded of that kiss... Jesus knew the depth of Judas' betrayal--all for 30 shekels of silver but Jesus still loved him enough to die for the sake of him. No matter how great my failure, His love remains the same--it never diminishes. He loves ME--it's an undeniable truth. He died for the sake of love, knowing every sin, every failure, every evil thought. So the question remains: What will I do with a love like that? What will you do?
    I'm going to keep striving to embrace it...to truly experience His love as I never have before. I want to be overwhelmed because He loves all of me--the whole kit and kaboodle! And in fully accepting His immeasurable love even though I don't deserve it, maybe I can BE a love like that. 
                                                   
"...The problem it seems is with you and me, 
     not the Love who came to repair everything.
Where there is pain, let US bring grace.
Where there is suffering, bring serenity.
      For those afraid, let us be brave.
Where there is misery, let us bring relief.
      And surely we can change....Surely we can change something.
Oh, the world's about to change...The whole world's about to change..."
     --David Crowder, "Surely We Can Change," Remedy song #10. If you haven't heard it before, check out this song.

His love isn't complete until I accept it in full and I return it to Him by loving others just as He loves me...I like saying that and even hearing it. I don't flinch so much anymore or turn to stone... He loves me....Hmm, for so many years I said what I've known in my head--I thought I understood--but that's as far as it got. Can you imagine the difference? Now I say it and the words mean so much more. I'm overwhelmed and humbled by the truth of three tiny words--because what I know in my head, I now hold in my heart and I will never be the same. 
                                                         Bought with a kiss...
                                                             sheri



.. Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything. 

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God... --  1 John 3:18-21 NIV

 

1000 Gifts: The Ways That He Loves (Psalm 116)

The way that He loves is as fair as the day that blesses my way with light....
      The way that He loves is so thrilling because His love reaches even me...


      ...Words from the old country & western gospel hymn. When I was about 12-13, it was one of the first songs I taught myself to play on the piano (It was easy--Key of C!)...one of the first songs I sang at church by myself and with my sister and cousins. I remember how precious it was back then to be reminded of the way that Jesus loves...A simple sweet message and melody.
     When I look back on my life journey and I realize how many miles I have come, I am reminded how He has blessed "my way with light," especially in the darkest times. I can't help but be humbled by all that God has done and for all He has given. When life overwhelms me and I look to His Word for comfort, I am reminded of His faithfulness and the many ways that He loves. And I am so humbly grateful as my list of "1000 Gifts" goes on...


6.  He listens even when no one else hears me. All I have to do is whisper His name.
"I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because He bends  down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath." - Psalm 116:1-2


7.  In times of despair, He gently draws me to Him even when i am blinded by circumstance. Time after time I wanted to give up. Time after time, His Spirit gently reminded me to turn to Him rather than despair.
"Death wrapped its ropes around me; the terrors of the grave overtook me. I saw only trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: 'Please Lord, save me!'" - Psalm 116:3-4


8.  He never forgets me. His gentle kindness, His abundant goodness, and His unwavering mercy are faithful reminders...
"How kind the Lord is! How good He is! So merciful, this God of ours!" - Psalm 116:5


9.  He protects me from harm. He has been my Safe Place my whole life long. No matter how people or circumstances tried to harm me, He guarded my heart. In a laundry hamper or under a willow tree, He provided me safe shelter in childhood. And today, He gives me safety and rest in His peaceful sanctuary. He IS my sanctuary.
"The Lord protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and He saved me. Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me." - Psalm 116:6-7


10.  He saves me...from depression, from the pain caused by others, and from my own mistakes and downfalls. He comforts, He strengthens, he heals, and He pushes me onward.
"He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the Lord's presence as I live here o earth!" - Psalm 116:8-9


11.  He cares about every moment beginning to end. He knows our sorrow even as He fulfills His perfect plan in us.
"The Lord cares deeply when His loved ones die." - Psalm 116:15


12.  He frees me from the chains of my sin and my past. He gave me freedom, yet I am honored and blessed to be His servant.
"O Lord, I am Your servant; yes, I am Your servant, born into Your household; You have freed me from my chains. I will offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord." - Psalm 116:16-17


13.  He blesses me with fellowship and accountability. He has surrounded me with a family of believers who love and accept me as I am but who also encourage me to seek His will and to grow in faith.
"I will keep my promises to the Lord in the presence of all His people...I will fulfill my vows o the Lord int he presence of all His people--in the house of the Lord, in the heart of Jerusalem." - Psalm 116:14, 18-19


14.  He loves me no matter what. His love for me is not measured out according to my ability to return it in kind. I could never repay all that He has done for me!
"What can I offer the Lord for all he has done for me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and praise the Lord's name for saving me." - Psalm 116:12-13


      ...His peace hovers near like a dove; I know there's a heaven above.
      To Jesus I cling--life's a wonderful thing because of the way He loves.     

Thank You, Lord, for the many ways that You love me...That You meet me at my greatest need...That You understand my weaknesses and my hurts. I am overwhelmed when I realize how far You have led me and how far You have carried me. I can't even begin to repay all that You are to me, yet You know my heart and accept my meager gratitude. I am nothing without You and I am honored to be Your servant...to be Your child. I love You too.-- sheri


"The Way That He Loves," - I couldn't find the writer & publisher information on this song but I learned it from the old "Country & Western Gospel Hymnal" back in the day, long since lost to me now.

1000 Gifts

  " Train me, God, to walk straight; then I'll follow Your true path. Put me together, one heart and mind; then, undivided, I'll worship in joyful fear. From the bottom of my heart I thank You, dear Lord; I've never kept secret what you're up to. You've always been great toward me—what love!  You snatched me from the brink of disaster! " - Psalm 86:11-13 The Message

     Before Thanksgiving, I determined to be aware of life's blessings--to deepen my gratitude for the overwhelming gifts God has given...Leah challenged her facebook friends to post our gratefulness each day before Thanksgiving. I took up the challenge and challenged my friends as did others. One by one , as our friends took up our challenge, they would begin to share their own attitude of gratitude..thanks for the obvious and tangible and also for the intangible and deeper matters of the heart.  Thanksgiving spread like wildfire. It was amazing. But even more amazing was the change I began to see and feel within myself and how I began to see my outward circumstances differently.
     As I began to note God's abundant grace, I began to anticipate the joy, the blessing, and the miracle of Christmas---not just the season but the advent of our Savior, the Jesus who lives and dwells among us today not just that first Christmas so many centuries ago. It changed my outlook on life and my positive change made others around me more positive too.
     Thanksgiving came and went and most of us got out of the habit of posting our gratitude every day---maybe once in a while but not regularly. I missed it...Then I saw a blog "Tall Tales" ( http://sherri-dawn.blogspot.com/ )...Couldn't help but be drawn to a blog by another person with my same name! She was already well into her list of 1000 gifts. I was blessed by her genuine openness as I remembered how focusing on gratitude changed my outlook...and how a little gratitude leads to more grace and more gratitude. Both grace and gratitude multiplies...
     So I decided it was time again for me to focus a little more on both--grace and gratitude. Seems like they go hand in hand and I'm not really sure you can have one without the other...And like so many of those who have joined this adventure, my list goes on and on and on. I'm not sure what happens when we get to 1000. In seeing those means and matters of grace written out one by one even in beginning, I begin to see already how endless is the grace God has given and how abundant is my gratitude for all He has done. Today is just the beginning of a lifetime and I am so grateful for these, His gifts:

1. The Jesus who came would come down and rock me as a child while I "hid" in the laundry hamper. I don't fit in the laundry hamper  anymore but He still comes down and holds me in the darkest places.
2. A freshly mown yard. The contentment of the finished work reminds me how much God has mown down in my spirit. I wonder if he sits on the "porch" to enjoy the moment too....even knowing that soon we both will have to mow again to maintain it.
3. A quiet phone. It doesn't happen often but it assures me that, for a little while at least, there are no crises to answers and no problems to solve. God is taking care of those I love without my help...He always does.
4. Being able to sit quietly with a friend as each one of us does our own work. I remember when I couldn't have done it--I couldn't trust that deep.  There's something about a friendship that doesn't always need words.
5. The men and women who put their lives on the line to protect us. As many of us honor Officer Holder and his sacrifice, we hear stories from the men who served beside him. And we are blessed by his inspiration not only as a police officer but also as a husband, father, a friend, and a man of God. We should all strive to live such a life...

THIS IS MY FATHER'S WORLD

This is my Father’s world, and to my listening ears 

All nature sings, and round me rings the music of the spheres.

      I hadn't heard this in so long until Saturday and it keeps playing in my head, bringing back old memories. It's an old hymn that showed me God was real when I was very little--a theme song in Vacation Bible School. I think that's where my faith---my real faith began. I didn't understand it all but somehow I knew He was there for me and I could bring all my secrets to Him. Maybe that's why I'm still such a cheerleader for VBS--God always shows up and you never know when He may make all the difference for even one single child... That summer, we were outside for VBS closing. Seemed like there were yellow flowers everywhere...or at least that's what I noticed--cannas, gladiolas, marigolds--all yellow. (Yellow flowers are still my favorite!) The memory of it is so clear, I can almost smell their fragrance! The day was sickening hot, with just a little breeze and I already wasn't feeling well at all but I was too shy, frightened, and maybe ashamed to tell anyone why. Traditional church, traditional VBS, traditional song... We always sang every verse (those printed in the hymnal anyway). The week was focused on the Creation Story. I knew God made all this amazing yellow!... On to verse 2...

This is my Father’s world: He shines in all that’s fair;

In the rustling grass I hear Him pass; He speaks to me everywhere.

     Being so young, I'm not sure how I knew but as we sang, I could feel Him...hear Him. I suddenly realized He was real--not just a story.This was HIS world and He talked to me even if I wasn't big enough or good enough. I wonder if that's the first time I felt the Holy Spirit--the Comforter. Though I couldn't put it in words then, I sometimes felt so alone and those words hit home that day. Suddenly I wasn't alone..But He had something even more significant He wanted me to understand that day as we sang the next verse...

This is my Father’s world. O let me ne’er forget

That though the wrong seems oft so strong, 

God is the ruler yet.

This is my Father’s world: the battle is not done...

     If someone had asked me to explain what that meant back then, I couldn't have done it but I knew somehow. Then I'm not sure I cognitively understood what was wrong, but my heart did...And these words were what I needed as if God said, "It's okay, I know everything and it's gonna be okay...I'm here in every moment, good or bad..."

      He stood against evil and despair while I just fought to survive. David's words never rang more true: "You O Lord are a Shield around me; You are my Glory, the One who hold my head high..." - Psalm 3:3
     So young and innocent in so many ways, I didn't know what "should" have been--just how life was. Circumstances didn't change then, but God changed me that day...He gave me something I could hold on to even if I couldn't grasp exactly what happened. Thank God for that childlike trust that God would be God---no room for doubt. My faith took form in that moment--not finished or perfect, but I was (am) the Potter's clay... If I was older, I would have found every argument why He shouldn't or couldn't care. As a grown up, I struggle to trust Him always. It makes me understand why He said we should come to Him as little children...I think trust is innate and we "learn" NOT to trust as we get older and life (not God) deals us blow after blow. By human standards, we have every reason to give up. Yet God continually leads us back to Him....He was all I had then and He brought me to where He's all I have now...We didn't have verse 6 in our hymnal back then but today--all grown up--I am reminded of the peace in His presence as He reveals Himself in the beauty of the spring season...Breathing in the fragrance of new beginnings...In so many ways, I am still alone--empty nest, divorced, still healing...yet somehow content in anticipation of the future. He is my home...

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This is my Father’s world. I walk a desert lone.

In a bush ablaze to my wondering gaze

God makes His glory known.

This is my Father’s world, a wanderer I may roam

Whate’er my lot, it matters not, my heart is still at home.

     Thank You Lord for revealing Yourself to me when I needed You most way back then in VBS and even today. You are still my Shield. Sometimes memories are hard to bear but I love when You remind me how great is Your love. I am eternally grateful that You whispered to Paul as he prayed so many centuries ago even for my fateful childhood moment when my roots grew down deep as Your love surpassed my childhood knowledge. His prayer is precious to me...

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. - Ephesians 3:17-19

THIS IS MY FATHER'S WORLD is public domain....Words & Music by Maltbie B. Babcock